SCENE 32:
A deserted roadside gas station/restaurant, with mountains in the background and evergreens everywhere else. There is a two story log cabin across a dirt road from the station. On the front porch swing sits Persephone, smoking a pipe and listening to the radio. A car pulls up slowly to the gas station and turns in. A woman steps out and pumps her gas. Persephone stretches, then walks down over to the station. As she gets closer, the woman turns around, and it is Eilithea. She calls out first.

Eilithea: I love the place.

Persephone: Thanks, you’re early.

Eilithea: I made good time, it’s practically deserted up here. It’s wonderful.

Persephone: Pull around to the house and you can get your things out.

Eilithea: Is anyone working in here?

Persephone: Part time cook on the weekends, we get a lot of traffic then. Otherwise, not much happening. Kind of a convenience store in here for the folks in the neighborhood, so I just keep the doors open, and if they need something any hour of the day they can just drop some money in the register and don’t have to wake me up. It’s nice.

Eilithea: A bit trusting, aren’t you?

Persephone: I’ve spent the past few thousand years dealing with souls both twisted and beautiful, billions of them, it’s nice to be in small place where you can trust people. And even if I can’t trust them, what’s the worst that could happen?

Eilithea: (done gassing up, puts the handle on and closes up her car, give Perse a hug, then proceeds to get her bags from the car) How much do I owe you for the gas?

Persephone: Don’t worry about it, you’re company. Better yet, you’re family. You know what I like about this place? It smells good. And I have a television.

Eilithea: You definitely have your priorities straight. But I do like the city, I like the hustle and bustle, I like the fact that it smells absolutely awful, and I even like traffic jams. This is your vacation, the city is mine.

Persephone: It’s not really a vacation anymore. I think Hades can take care of itself, and I know for a fact Olympus can fall off the world and I wouldn’t care. This is home now.

Eilithea: Yeah. Dad’s here, too, you know. He won’t apologize to any of us, of course, he’s waiting for us to come to terms with our anger. Everybody ditched him apparently, Hermes, Athena.

Persephone: I haven’t heard a peep from anyone since Christmas. I haven’t even talked to my own daughter. I keep meaning to call, but I don’t have a cellular and the telephone lines out here are always going out. How is everybody?

Eilithea: Good, really good. Hades is having a blast, he’s managing a footie team that’s winning everything, and I assume Cephallenia is well as I haven’t heard otherwise. Mum and I finally sat down and sorted everything out, your mom is still chasing after Apollo and might have actually caught him.

Persephone: Wow, that’s good news. I might not have to listen to her bitching about it every other month. That was another reason I didn’t want a telephone. And Minos and Charon, how are they settling in?

Eilithea: Minos is working for mom, so are Hermes and Ares for that matter. Suddenly she went from this rather boring accountant to the CFO in about a week, it was like a corporate coup. So the three of them just roam the halls and make trouble, but they’re having the time of their lives. Charon, on the other hand, has to put up with Aphrodite, that poor, lost soul. He must be in absolute hell staring at her every day.

Persephone: No, hell’s where we used to work. I put that on my resume and no one wanted to hire me, good thing I’ve got my own business.

Eilithea: I know what you mean, I had Zeus, King of Gods on my references and everyone thought I had delusions of grandeur.

Persephone: There are times when I honestly think it was all a big, horrible dream, and I’ve finally woken up. That’s an awful thing to say, because I love my husband and my daughter, but… I like fresh air better right now.

Eilithea: I think I know the feeling. (she puts her arm around Perse and they walk off toward the house with her bags)

SCENE 33:
A laboratory where Prometheus works. He is in full labcoat, Dionysus stands next to him with a camera perched up on one shoulder.

Prometheus: Did you get the shot?

Dionysus: Yeah, it was fine. I’m the filmmaker here, your job is to just do what you normally do and look a bit sexy about it.

Prometheus: Generally, that’s not my first priority in the lab, but I’ll try to wear shorts tomorrow, how about that?

Dionysus: Not quite what I had in mind. But you have a good presence on the camera, I think this is going to work out really well.

Prometheus: I think it’s that exhibitionist streak in me. When you’re exposed on the side of a rock for a hundred odd years you get to be a real performer.

Dionysus: Something tells me you’re not going to harvesting livers from all these human clones.

Prometheus: No, I can safely say that I will never touch a liver or look at a liver, or even suffer myself to remember that they exist. But I will quite gladly ruin one with a good drink, have you got anything?

Dionysus: You’re asking me? Do I have alcohol? That’s like asking a zebra if they shit stripes. (he pulls out a bottle from the camera bag on the floor and pours into two beakers.) What shall we drink to?

Prometheus: To science, I think. I always like toasting things that prove I don’t actually exist. (they clink) It’s been good to see you around, though, really. I hope you won’t disappear after all this filming.

Dionysus: Couldn’t get rid of me if you tried, love. Once a friend, always a friend. And you know what that means.

Prometheus: Drunken revelries, I hope. At least this documentary is going to be better than that play, ‘Prometheus Bound.’ That was shit.

Dionysus: I can’t be held responsible for every play ever written, you know.

Prometheus: Fair enough, but the play about me was wretched while the Bacchae was brilliant. I think there’s something to said about that.

Dionysus: You’re just paranoid.

Prometheus: I’m not the one who thinks that everyone hates me.

Dionysus: I’ve gotten over that now. Now I think that everyone wants to be me. And I can’t blame them, I’m completely fabulous.

Prometheus: You will be when you get that edited. I don’t think you’ll have to worry about music videos for quite some time. You might even get lucky enough to do a movie with (he pauses dramatically) Nick Phaedra.

Dionysus: God, is that not the most obvious name? But then, when was Apollo ever creative? I mean, so what, he’s the God of art and prophecy, but he can’t draw a horse from fifteen paces.

Prometheus: Was that meant to be a joke?

Dionysus: Yes, fine, so it wasn’t funny.

Prometheus: (playfully) It was awful.

Dionysus: I’m not good with one liners, I think that situational comedy is much more sophisticated.

Prometheus: That’s because you’ve always sucked at one liners.

Dionysus: I’m a drunk! You can’t be instantly clever when you’re a drunk!

Prometheus: No, I think it’s more that you’re just not funny. Fun, yes, but funny, no.

Dionysus: That’s a wicked thing to say. I’m funny. I do funny things. Like… well, I can’t think of anything funny I’ve done lately…

Prometheus: Or ever.

Dionysus: (trying not to laugh) Well, let’s see who’s so funny, then, Mister, I challenge you to (he pauses and grabs a paper towel tube) a duel!

Prometheus: En garde, then! (he grabs a super long thermometer, they play fight, remarkably well, until Prometheus stabs the thermometer between Dionysus’ arm and body. Dionysus falls on the floor dramatically)

Dionysus: You’ve got me, I haven’t much time to go. Tell all of them, I miss them and that I died a painful death, just like every single one of my jokes.

Prometheus: Hee hee hee. Now that my evil plans are complete, I can edit the movie myself and take all of the credit, muhahahah!

Dionysus: (peeking on eye open) Not quite yet, mad scientist! (he leaps from the floor onto Prometheus, who is caught unaware and fall down squarely on the thermometer, which has rolled behind him).

Prometheus: Owwww!!

Dionysus: Shit, did I hurt you?

Prometheus: That stupid thermometer, I just landed on it.

Dionysus: I’m sorry, I thought you were a good for some rough and tumble.

Prometheus: I would be dammit, but it’s right underneath my liver. (Dionysus looks sympathetic until Prometheus bursts out laughing and the two of them end up on their backs on the lab floor, howling away)

SCENE 33:
A football game. Hades sits on the sidelines, with Charon.

Charon: Thanks for getting me tickets. This is great.

Hades: Not a problem. I’m glad you could come out, and tear yourself away from Aphrodite.

Charon: That’s never a problem. She’s already bored with me as a plaything, so now I’m just the slavish assistant, and I don’t mind taking a break from being bossed around.

Hades: You ought to go into business for yourself, you’re probably well sick of taking orders from somebody.

Charon: That is true. But right now I’m just sorting out what I want to do next up. It’s nice where Aph lives, and I’m meeting a lot of people, who aren’t dead for once, and I’m making a lot of money, not from people’s eyelids for once, and overall, it’s pretty refreshing.

Hades: Don’t get too excited, you might lose your membership in the Cynic’s Guild.

Charon: The habits of a lifetime are not so easily lost. But there’s no reason why you can’t hate the world in general while having a rather good time in the specific.

Hades: I’ve not looked at it quite that way before, but I believe I see your point. Man, we really needed to get out of there.

Charon: Oh, yes. Aphrodite was trying to convince me to take a cruise, I said, there’s no way in Hades I’m going back on the water again. Anywhere I need to go, I can fly.

Hades: Yeah, I love airplanes. Free drinks and those little snack packets, and when you look down the world is almost smaller than it is on Olympus. It’s awesome. I spent a day just floating in the clouds to see if it would be as cool as the plane ride, but you kind of need the movement part, too.

Charon: Floating in the clouds. You’re losing it.

Hades: I’m not. It was relaxing. It was like a massage, only not quite.

Charon: I guess if the pressure of watching grown men kick around a little ball has gotten to you that much.

Hades: You can fuck off, you know.

Charon: I could, but then you’d have to explain to your friends why I suddenly disappeared in the middle of a game.

Hades: I’ll just tell them you’re a magician.

Charon: That might not be such a bad career. Although it would be cheating a bit, I suppose.

Hades: Who cares if it is? I don’t think Zeus is going to stop from using inherent powers in his attempts to take over the world. Why shouldn’t we?

Charon: There is that. But I don’t think the other Gods would be too pleased, they’re very careful about what they do. All of them, even Aphrodite and Dionysus.

Hades: They’re not quite the flaky brats I was escaping from a few thousand years ago. It’s gotten to the point now that I’m the flaky one, after being in Hades for a few ages.

Charon: I’m sure working in the sports business will keep you sane.

Hades: No, but it’s going to be a fucking blast.

Charon: Now who’s getting kicked out of the Cynics’ Guild?