SCENE 12:
Olympus. Great Hall. Zeus sits at the head chair, a throne that sits on a dais. Surrounding it in a circle are eleven other chairs, spaced throughout the chamber. In the floor are pits with copper bowls where fires and incense burn. A great skylight fills the chamber in the exact center. No other windows are in evidence. The room is very sparse, very marble, and extremely chilly and unwelcoming. Athena is standing behind the chair that is presumably hers, at the right hand of Zeus. An assortment of lesser gods wait behind the chairs. Hermes is uncomfortably slouched in his chair, which is the closest to the door opposite Zeus’. All are wearing ceremonial robes of various import, with Zeus’ being the most gaudy. After a moment of silence that we sense has gone on for some time, the doors open and a page comes in to announce

Page: The Queen of the Gods, and the Children of Zeus. The Twelve Olympians attend the King of the Gods for his high Council.

Zeus: Enter.
(The other gods come in, decked out in various regalia, but all very modern and human)

Hera: The Gods come to serve you in need, husband. May we have the hospitality of your hall?

Zeus: You are overlate, but still welcome. Sit down, we have much to discuss. I see there are more than the Twelve. (to servants) Find chairs or pillows for the other Gods. Chairs for the higher gods, pillows for the lesser gods. (several Gods roll their eyes) And how are my children?

Apollo: Well, sir.

Artemis: Healthy.

Ares: Always happy to be home.

Eris: Fine.

Hephaestus: Busy but satisfied.

Persephone: The same.

Zeus: Excellent. And Hades, I have not seen you here in some time. You are well?

Hades: I can’t complain. You have not yet met your granddaughter, Cephallenia.

Zeus: How enchanting. Eros, Psyche, your presence is unexpected but hardly unwelcome. You are, I trust, also in good health?

Eros: Nothing but the best.

Zeus: Demeter, Hestia, Prometheus, Poseidon – my brothers and sisters look well. Everyone is here, then, we may begin. Hermes probably mentioned to you that I am interested in returning to the Earth to institute a new regime of worship there, and bring our glory back as the guiding force of humanity. We have let our influence lapse for far too long, and it is high time that we regained our proper places. I cannot be held blameless in this, for I am the King of the Gods, and I admit to having let my earthly duties lapse somewhat. After dealing with the Norsemen I found I had gotten a rather large headache, and when it finally went away a few decades later there was not much on earth for me to return to. The administration of Olympus and the lesser gods was also extremely taxing, and I found myself busy in that endeavor to the exclusion of others. It did surprise, me, though, when you lot never came back. I often wondered what it was that was so fascinating that you were held enthralled on earth. Now I have come to find that you have been masquerading yourselves as humans, an activity which I profoundly disapprove of. I must insist that you all stop behaving this way. We are the Gods, and we will maintain our decorum. It is an insult to all of us to pretend to be a part of humanity instead of its natural leaders that we rightly are, and I will not hear of it happening again.

Hera: You seem to find little room for disagreement.

Zeus: There is none. I have said that I will not tolerate the continuance of this activity in any way. You will all cease your human identities immediately.

Hera: Ahhh. I am afraid that is not possible.

Zeus: Do you dare to contradict me in front of the other Gods?

Hera: If I thought that a dialogue was possible with you, I would suggest that you hear our explanation of our activities. But since you are determined to make your judgment without our council, then I must resort to outright denial. Perhaps it would be advantageous to all of us to discuss the issue, instead of you just ordering us about and us blatantly ignoring you.

Zeus: I cannot see what there is to discuss. You are shirking your duties as Gods, you are living below your stations to the embarrassment of the entire Godhood, and your King has just called upon you to return to your obligations to Olympus. What is there to say?

Aphrodite: I should think if we decide to stop living as humans it will be because the choice no longer appeals to us, not because you’ve got your undies in a bunch that your wife might be having sex with a human.

Zeus: Don’t be absurd. My motivations are more noble than mere sexual jealousy. Not that I believe for an instant that I have anything to worry about on that score, I scarcely think humans are more apt to hope for a nagging wife than Gods are.

Apollo: Regardless of what Hera does, the point is we are all engaged in this lifestyle, and we are all satisfied with living amongst humans. We do not desire to have direct control over them anymore, it is no longer a viable option.

Zeus: A viable option? To rule as we were meant to rule? If you are no longer able to support your duties as a higher God, Apollo, then resign them, but do not trouble me with your personal failings.

Poseidon: If these are failings, they are not limited to Apollo. I, too, do not see what is so very precious in lording ourselves over humankind as if we were still relevant and necessary to their daily lives. They have gone beyond making fires, Zeus, and they no longer need our blessings to make the crops grow.

Hera: Indeed, the problems facing humanity today are more emotional than practical. I do not really think that we have any greater expertise in controlling our emotional states than these creatures Prometheus made. Why not let them discover their own solutions? How can their initiative be a threat to us in any way?

Zeus: I would not suggest that humans are a threat to us.

Hera: Then why must we herd them?

Zeus: It is our obligation to guide them, not to herd them like dumb sheep, but to inspire them and lead them and keep them moving ever forward.

Prometheus: Has it not occurred to you, great Zeus, that it might be possible to guide and inspire them more effectively while dressed in their skins, and acting as their equals? The humans are proud, too, and they no longer wish to have a God above them telling them what to do. In these days, they seek wisdom from their own ranks, and it from that position that we have all led them ever forward toward a higher order.

Zeus: Your point is well couched, Prometheus. But I am hesitant to concern myself with what humans ‘want’ when in fact we are called upon to lead them whether they wish it or not.

Eris: Which will give you the desired effect of worship, perhaps, but not unconditional devotion. Humans who follow a God merely because they think they have to are confused and unhappy, they are not likely to advance in intellect or society. It is much more effective to condescend to please them, to find a way to make them wish to do something, so they feel it is their choice. Humans are slaves to the idea of free will, and perhaps it is in our best interest to allow them to believe that they have it.

Eros: Exactly so. It is always better to create a relationship from pure love than from resentment and forced duty. If we approach the humans in the way that they are more comfortable, we have them eating out of our hands. Surely there is no dishonor to us as Gods if we are, in the end, in the same position than if we had thrown lightning bolts at their backs.

Zeus: The ends justify the means.

Eros: Well, not precisely. Alright, perhaps. I just think we should be more compassionate to the humans, and figure out what is best for them, rather than what is best for us.

Hestia: Even if it were in our best interests to return to our past form, which I wouldn’t agree on. I don’t think I could offer humanity much as the Hearth Goddess anymore, whereas in my current lifeline I improve the working environment for thousands of people.

Demeter: Clearly we are all quite happy with the status quo. I think it is your burden of proof, Zeus, to give us a reason to change our situations. Please tell us what you intend by a return to the old ways, and surely, is there not room for the rest of us to continue with our lives as they are? I do not see why we conflict with your plans in any way.

Zeus: Just because there is no direct conflict does not mean that things are acceptable. We are all the Gods, and we must act in cohesion, or there is very little difference whether some are too lazy to act and some too proud, or whether we are actively working against each other. We are either together or we can hardly be called the host of the heavens.

Persephone: And yet, we have all been living apart these past thousand years or more, in different places, some of us hardly in contact with each other for two hundred years. I would not think this has destroyed us.

Hebe: It’s hardly been constructive, though. We aren’t able to bounce our ideas off of each other, and share our talents in complementary ways as we were meant to. We need each other.

Eilithea: We’ve been rather bored here on Olympus without everyone, but we didn’t want to run away to Earth and leave our father behind to fend for himself alone.

Artemis: How noble of you.

Athena: The point is that we are all bound by our responsibilities to Olympus and its King. We were brought into this world for the purpose of acting as its Gods, and we cannot simply shrug that off because we would prefer to own businesses or beach resorts.

Dionysus: But why can’t we act as Gods AND live as humans? It’s not as though being a God is a twenty four/seven enterprise, and since we don’t really need sleep, that gives us the opportunity to have work and play, and who’s the judge if playing means acting like a human? We can’t find that much fun with each other anymore, especially when everyone’s on Olympus.

Zeus: This is by far the best argument I have heard all day. I have not yet considered your point, Dionysus. Give me leisure to think on it, and I will report back to you all with my decision about living as humans. As for our work as the Gods, I expect that there are still those of you out there who do not wish to join me. Need I even ask who these are?

Hera: Before we call ranks, I think it would be nice to have a more complete understanding of what you mean by the reclamation of our glory, Zeus. I see the basic trend you’re going for, but am not quite sure how you plan on going about it.

Athena: Do you really expect us to line up all our of ideas so you can try and sabotage them?

Poseidon: Don’t be such a repressed twit, Athena. Hera is simply asking why we should even consider joining to Zeus when we have no clear perception of what our ‘duty’ entails. The last time we all followed our duties without question, we ended up in Rome vying for attention with chariot races. I would hope the glory of the Gods brings greater rewards this time.

Zeus: I can hardly be blamed for the preferences of Latins. I seem to recall them being more infatuated with Ares. Still, we were able to maintain our supremacy in that culture for hundreds upon hundreds of years, because we were all involved with the effort. It could be so again. I have not cemented all of my plans, but I think it is clear that the bright spots of human history coincided with the efforts of all of us combined.

Apollo: Until the Renaissance, which granted was spurred on by all of us beginning our lives as humans, but after that period, things have been on a progressively upward climb for humans technologically and educationally, and our influences have been filtered into the mix but has been in no way paramount. We were the only thing that kept them going, but that was thousands of years ago. Now we are just one drop in the bucket of human evolution.

Hestia: What began as the dust that Prometheus shaped into wieldy but crafty creatures are now a complete culture that we have very little to do with. It is the extreme arrogance to assume that we should always be looking after humanity simply because we were blessed enough to watch them starting out. It may well be that we have other beings to look after, new species. We scarcely know what the Fates have in store for all of us, and it is to them that we should be looking for guidance.

Eros: I agree. As the eldest of this world besides Chaos, the Fates should be consulted in this matter. Where the Gods disagree, we must give our sides to their judgment, and what they choose will be binding upon us all.

Hera: And I would suggest that we all go in one group, so as to keep the odds of a private audience low. This is indeed a matter for impartiality.

Heracles: Would it be only the high Gods, or will we all be going?

Hera: Every one of us. Because the words of the Fates will bind to all of us our places in the world, we must include the lesser Gods, and the remaining Titans and PreBorn. Which means the Hecatonchires, Atlas, Rhea, and the lesser Gods from Earth and Hades as well as Olympus.

Zeus: I am not sure whether that would be a good idea.

Hera: Can you for once leave off the spousal antagonism and accept an idea of mine as valid when it is clearly necessary for the good of all of us? If we do not follow you in your quest for glory, there will be an Olympomachia, and that will affect all of the Gods. They should be given the chance to find out what their fate will be along with the rest of us.

Zeus: Then it will be so. For those of you who have not undertaken such a quest, the journey to the Fates is a long and arduous process. I recommend we set out in the morning, and until then enjoy the company that is so rare for all of us. This council is over. (the gods breath a sigh of relief, Zeus turns to Hera) You I will speak to alone.

Hera: I suggest in the garden, this room is smothering. (she walks out, Zeus follows. The other gods look on in mild interest)

Aphrodite: Ah, true love, they can’t keep away from one another.

Poseidon: One another’s throat, anyway. Still, it could have been worse.

Prometheus: It went alright, I think. Your fears were a bit misplaced, my dear.

Hestia: For now. We haven’t gotten to the fireworks yet.

Cephallenia: You mean it gets worse?

Hades: Much worse. On the upside, it looks like Minos and Charon will need to join us.

Cephallenia: That’s good, I miss them already. But I want to look around Olympus, I’ve never been here. Nathaniel, do you want to go and explore?

Nathaniel: Yeah. I’ve heard an awful lot about this place, so I’ve got an idea where to go.

Persephone: You two need to find someone familiar to show you around. It’s not that it’s dangerous or anything, but well, it is dangerous if you wander into someone’s private room, they get a bit ornery at times. And it’s hard to tell public space from private space up here.
Cephallenia: Apollo, will you show us around?
Apollo: I’d really love to, but I need to do some planning sessions. Can’t have fun just yet. I bet Hebe would be able to show you, she actually lives here. (he goes to her and confers, she comes over, meanwhile, Hades calls to Hermes)

Hades: Hermes, can I ask you to jump over to Hades before supper, and inform Minos and Charon they are needed here, they will have to pass their duties along the line.

Hermes: You can ask, but I’m not sure if I will. (Hades gives him A Look) Just kidding, mate, I’ll go now.

Hades: No, after supper. (Hermes, shrugs, rolls his eyes and wanders off, Hebe comes up)

Hebe: Hi, I’m Hebe, you must be Cephallenia and Nathaniel.

Ceph: Hiya.

Nate: Allo.

Hebe: I would love to show you around Olympus, is there anything you want to see in particular?

Nate: Well, I have heard about some bizarre creatures like gorgons and pegasus…es.

Hebe: I think it’s pegasi, but there’s only one so it’s never been an issue. Come on, we’ll start at the monster quarters.

Demeter: She’s so excited to be here. I don’t blame her, I feel as though I’ve come home.

Persephone: You have, mum.

Demeter: I suppose. I’m glad everyone is here, otherwise I would feel lonely. Olympus always seems to remind me of being alone.

Persephone: You shouldn’t think about it. Everyone is here now, and we’ll have a good night at least.

Dionysus: (walking by and hearing the last) A good night? Try a great night! Dionysus is on the case, and we will be having an Evening to Remember!!!

Ares: Don’t bring fire breathing snake girls, we’ve had those already.

Hermes: And the double jointed mermaids we had twice.

Aphrodite: Not to mention the goat hoofed Pan impersonators with ten inch fingers.

Dionysus: Picky, picky! I’ll come up with some new diversions, in honor of the return of Hera’s return to Olympus. You thought she hated my party tactics before, let me tell you my friends, you’ve seen nothing yet!
(In another grouping, Apollo, Artemis, Eris, Eros, and Psyche confer)

Artemis: All the same, I don’t like it. He was too eager to be done with it all, and too reticent on the subject of the Fates. He has tricked them before, has he not?

Eros: Oh yes, that’s what enabled him to take over the Kingship and marry Hera and get everything else. But surely they will not allow themselves to be tricked again, even if one presumes he really tricked them in the first place. It is more likely that he was part of their design, and they allowed him to think he was fooling them.

Eris: But really, they knew that he knew that they didn’t know that he was trying to find out from that… (they all laugh)

Psyche: The affairs of the Fates are easily confused, and that is of course part of their design as well. We shall go to them in the morning, and perhaps then it will be revealed how much knowledge they had of Zeus’ earlier schemes.

Apollo: I certainly hope they protect the humans. We can take care of ourselves, at least in reference to Zeus.

Eris: We should console ourselves that his worst enemy has come back to take her place at his side. As long as mother is around, there’s little for us to worry about, because even if Zeus was in a rage guess who he’ll take it out on.

Apollo: I certainly hope she can still take care of him. Hera’s mellowed out so much on Earth I wonder if she still has the capacity to destroy and devour.

Artemis: She works at a bank, Apollo. I don’t think someone who bankrupts Fortune 500 companies for breakfast has much of a worry over one self-deluding gasbag like our father.

Eros: I’m sure everything will turn out for the best. I feel a great deal of love in this room, which was not the case several hundred years ago.

Eris: Sure you feel love. Aphrodite is the center of attention, Hermes can hit on people he hasn’t spent the past seven hundred years with, Eilithea has the same years of horniness stored up and ready to burst, and Demeter is in clutchy doormat mode. I would call it codependency, mind you, but if you say you feel love, who am I to doubt the God of Love himself?

Eros: So bitter, and yet so satisfied.

Apollo: Yes, you’re happily in love, you should be feeling sorry for those of us who are unlucky every time.

Artemis: Oh, please, this from the movie star with his legions of adoring fans. As if you’ve ever come down to Earth and not had women throwing themselves at you.

Apollo: Well, the goddesses don’t.

Psyche: Except for the above mentioned Eilithea and Demeter, as well as Aphrodite on occasion, and of course the passionate sexual advances of Athena. (everyone groans, laughs, nods, etc.)

Eris: I think she’s still trying to sort out whether she’s more in love with Apollo or daddy Zeus, mostly dependent on whether or not she would be socially sanctioned if she got it on with her papa. Still, Pollo, it must be nice to be second best for the Goddess that’s never even kissed anyone on the cheek.

Apollo: Yes, very flattering. But don’t make a joke of it if she’s around, it’s so sensitive…

Artemis: We’re not that crass, brother. Besides, we’ve never make an issue of it in the thousands of years it’s been going on.

Apollo: But everyone is so different now, being on Earth. I sometimes wonder if Athena might not have changed, I mean, she must have gotten married at some point in one lifeline.

Eris: I wouldn’t bet on it.

Eros: She has never engaged in any sexual activity with a human, I can tell you that. Nor has she loved anyone but you and Zeus. It would be so kind if you could find a place in your heart… but that’s probably not very realistic. I don’t think it would do her any good to have you pining away and her just the replacement.

Artemis: Pining away, who on earth could you be in love with?

Apollo: No one, I think Eros is just being symbolic. Besides, if I was to… gah… with Athena… yeee… no, I would be pining away for just about anyone! I can’t even imagine trying to go about touching Athena. It’s like the fortress that will never fall.

Psyche: Oh, I do not know. Nothing lasts forever, not even repression.