SCENE 3:
Athena is at a psychiatrist’s office. She is wearing a very low cut blouse and short skirt with high heels.

Athena: And then I shagged him as well. I feel much better about it, now, I stop feeling so… guilty, I suppose. Although, it wasn’t very good.

Psychiatrist: Now why did you decide to go home with this person from the bar?

Athena: I don’t know, practice.

Psych: Practice for what?

Athena: Shagging.

Psych: Have you thought about the medical consequences of sleeping with so many people?

Athena: (looks at him with a smirk) Oh, yes. I’m quite safe about it.

Psych: You mentioned that you look at your sexuality as practice. Last week, you had referred to it as a ‘tool’. Have you ever felt that you wanted to have sex for its own sake, simply because you enjoyed the company of another person?

Athena: (skeptical) Of course not, don’t be a bloody fool. I don’t give a shit about them, but if they get me closer to what I want, then I’ll do it, and I’ll learn to do it right. I finally met someone in the pornography industry. I think that might be a good learning opportunity.

Psych: So you would be willing to be in pornographic material, but not work at a strip parlor or as a prostitute?

Athena: That’s right. Aph has already done both of those, and I want to be original. She’s not very easy competition.

Psych: And this Aph is a friend of yours?

Athena: Something like that. She’s the Goddess of Lust, actually. I’m just an amateur.

Psych: Is she sexually attached the gentleman that you’re, ah, trying to become involved with.

Athena: She’s fucked him, yes. That stupid little bitch Dem has as well, but she’s gone now, off to have my father’s baby, and that leaves him completely free. It will be a Christmas to remember.
(the psych looks vaguely frightened)

Psych: You said you would be spending Christmas with your family?

Athena: (deciding to scare him more) Oh, yes, well, I guess you could say he IS family.

SCENE 4:
Hestia’s home, the perfect little house. She is plumping pillow, straightening pictures, generally making things worshippable. Prometheus comes in, drunk as a skunk and flops down on the couch she’s just perfected.

Prometheus: Lord, I’m slaughtered.

Hestia: I just plumped that couch.

Prometheus: Looks radiant, my dear. But couches are for sitting on, not plumping.

Hestia: You can say that, you’re not the God of the bloody couch. It’s a bit late, you said you’d be home for supper.

Prometheus: Got carried away with the game, cricket, lasts for years it seems like. It was really funny, though, Matthew was talking to the bartender and he said…

Hestia: I’m not really interested. Did you remember we’re supposed to be going away on the weekend?

Prometheus: Oh, damn it all. I knew there was something. Look, hon, can’t we just go in January, because I promised the guys I would be around for the poker game…

Hestia: You have that poker game every week, and we’ve been planning this for months! How can you even think that’s alright?

Prometheus: Well, you could go without me.

Hestia: To see our children??? Fine, you do whatever you fucking want, but come Saturday, I’m going to Tartarnyx, and if I have to apologize to my children because their father is playing with little plastic chips and slips with a bunch of HUMANS, then I’ll, well, I don’t know what I’ll do.

Prometheus: We saw them over Bank Holiday in August, I don’t think that much has changed. If they cared so much to see us, they could come up for Christmas like everyone else with any sense. Bad enough half the fucking Godhead is off sulking or pregnant or out of favor and won’t be around.

Hestia: Don’t you mention that, don’t you even talk about that. It’s not to be gossiped about!

Prometheus: It’s not as if it hasn’t happened before, Hestia. Demeter’s banged up with Zeus’ kid, so what, Persephone gets a sister, wa-hey!

Hestia: Sober yourself up, you’re becoming a slob. (storms out. Prom shakes his head and flips on the tv)

SCENE 4:
Poseidon’s beach resort. It is December 22, and people are due to start arriving the next day. Poseidon is, as usual, sitting in his chair, wearing a hideous rainbow polo. He appears to be gripping the armrests on his chair. Nathaniel walks out, lifts his eyebrows, and is about to leave but is seen by Poseidon.

Poseidon: (panting slightly) What’s that?

Nathaniel: Didn’t realize you were busy, sorry. I thought that was what we had all those rooms for, but I get so confused.

Poseidon: There’s no customers around to scare away, who cares what I do. I’m a dirty old man. What did you want, anyway?

Nathaniel: I just got a call from Apollo, Hermes is supposed to stop by and let us know how the search is going.

Poseidon: I think (face goes orgasmic, then deflates) your news is a bit late.

Hermes: (popping his head up and spitting on the floor by Nathaniel’s shoe) I already came. Haven’t seen the daft cunt, she could be anywhere.

Nathaniel: Sorry, didn’t recognize you with your face under that towel.

Poseidon: (rearranging his tartan towel) Don’t be such a prick, Nathaniel. Run along and fuck your girlfriend so you can keep off each other for the next week.

Nathaniel: It’s not as if everyone doesn’t already know.

Poseidon: Well, her mother doesn’t, and it might be better to keep it that way, unless you particularly want to piss off the Queen of the Dead.

Hermes: She’ll slit your balls off, bad thing about being a god, you can’t be killed, but you can be castrated.

Nathaniel: She probably isn’t even coming. (huffs off)

Hermes: (calling after) She said she was, you little shitbag! (to Poseidon) Piece of fucking shit, that son of yours. No manners at all.

Poseidon: Wonder where he learned that from. Doesn’t matter, what’s he going to do with his life? Nothing left to conquer, he’ll just sit about like us and fuck everything in sight. He’s got a head start on that one, can’t complain.

Hermes: She’s grown up a lot, I’d fancy a go myself.

Poseidon: Leave her alone. There’ll be plenty of ass to choose from tomorrow. When are you getting in to stay?

Hermes: (making a face) Whenever I find that fucking sister of yours. Apollo’s special instructions, ‘show up with her or show up late’. If he fucking cares so much he can find her himself. Don’t see why he fucking cares anyway, the reason she ran off if because he couldn’t be bothered.

Poseidon: Guilt. I always felt that was a very ungodly emotion, but Apollo has to be sensitive. Just come tomorrow, she doesn’t want to be found.

Hermes: Yeah, well, you can get him off my back.

Poseidon: From what Aph was telling me, he’ll be so busy hiding out from Athena he won’t get much of a chance to bitch at anyone.

Hermes: Yeah, she’s a piece of work. Screws every human within a three mile radius, but won’t give me the time of day.

Poseidon: Wait til Apollo’s around. She needs someone to tell him what he’s missing.

Hermes: He knows what he’s missing, and it isn’t her.

Poseidon: I don’t know. Persistence that strong generally reaps good results.

Hermes: Well, I have to go persist in finding the single mother. Later. (he pops out)